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literature
The Cogs Shall Stop
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Literature Text
Corruption encases this system,
Poison infects this society.
The surface gleams a brilliant gold, pristine,
Yet underneath a plague crawls along.
This modern system is a clock,
A beautiful decor, but it is the cogs who really work.
Yet in this world, the cogs are far too many,
And a mask of false beauty covers the sickening truth.
It only seems like a matter of time before it all collapses,
And as this system crumbles, the rest of society will fall,
Blissfully unaware to their demise.
Although we can halt this disease,
Stop it from spreading over the cogs of our modern-day world,
These cogs- the real workers need to take a stand,
Defy the system that we now know to be normal.
For the inner workings certainly won't always 'work',
Because someday, the right thing to do is to fight.
So pick up your pride and save this dying world!
Poison infects this society.
The surface gleams a brilliant gold, pristine,
Yet underneath a plague crawls along.
This modern system is a clock,
A beautiful decor, but it is the cogs who really work.
Yet in this world, the cogs are far too many,
And a mask of false beauty covers the sickening truth.
It only seems like a matter of time before it all collapses,
And as this system crumbles, the rest of society will fall,
Blissfully unaware to their demise.
Although we can halt this disease,
Stop it from spreading over the cogs of our modern-day world,
These cogs- the real workers need to take a stand,
Defy the system that we now know to be normal.
For the inner workings certainly won't always 'work',
Because someday, the right thing to do is to fight.
So pick up your pride and save this dying world!
enjoy!Comments4
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This is really great! I absolutely love it!
I'm not sure how to critique things, but you asked so I shall try.
I haven't read the story it goes with that you mentioned in the description, so to make it more clear to someone who is reading it as a simple poem, maybe try to weave in some things like the character's name or something? I don't know, maybe just so the reader knows what it's based off of or could easily figure it out? And maybe a little more descriptive words or elaboration to really make it pop. Other than that, I think it's absolutely wonderful.
Please don't kill me, I don't want to offend anyone. Obviously you are the writer and you make your own decisions, these are just the pointers I could think of. This is a really great poem! This is my first time doing this so take what I'm saying with a grain of salt, or fifty. You're an awesome writer! Please don't hate me, or think I'm stupid, you seem really cool.
I'm not sure how to critique things, but you asked so I shall try.
I haven't read the story it goes with that you mentioned in the description, so to make it more clear to someone who is reading it as a simple poem, maybe try to weave in some things like the character's name or something? I don't know, maybe just so the reader knows what it's based off of or could easily figure it out? And maybe a little more descriptive words or elaboration to really make it pop. Other than that, I think it's absolutely wonderful.
Please don't kill me, I don't want to offend anyone. Obviously you are the writer and you make your own decisions, these are just the pointers I could think of. This is a really great poem! This is my first time doing this so take what I'm saying with a grain of salt, or fifty. You're an awesome writer! Please don't hate me, or think I'm stupid, you seem really cool.